Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
