Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
