i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
