You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
