And the cops told us we were all naked.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
