Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize