i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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