He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
