I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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