I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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