It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
