those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
