His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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