You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
