i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
We are two peas in an std pod
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
