Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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