Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
