Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
