I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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