are you so shy because you have an std?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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