ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
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