Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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