I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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