You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
