I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I looked at my own cervix.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
