Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
