I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
is this the sara with the beer cane?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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