Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
