We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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