unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
