i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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