There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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