Whats the glycemic index on semen?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
that may or may not have been my penis.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
