dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
