Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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