i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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