pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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