He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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