Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Randomize
