Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
