was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
