Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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