Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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