Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize