My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
