using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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