Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
