that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
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