party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
