she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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