I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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