THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
