so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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