Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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