I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
