im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
