A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
