Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Randomize
