i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
